Yesterday I experienced the first extremely tangible example of the world behaving differently towards me now that I have a “different”, or new, body.
About a month ago, I proactively scheduled physical therapy to regain mobility and strength in my shoulders, as suggested after my masculinizing mastectomy. When I called to make the appointment, I specified the type of therapy I needed and was given an appointment for Monday, February 13th. But when I arrived for my visit yesterday, at the front desk I was told that the provider I had been assigned refused to see me because (I quote) “after reviewing the medical chart, the therapist felt they couldn’t help” me. Fortunately, another physical therapist happened to have a free spot at the same time yesterday morning and was able to see me — and actually was a wonderful human and professional. But this is besides the point. The point here is that I was refused medical care based on my medical chart. Now, let’s be clear on what my medical chart shows. Among other things, it is clearly stated that my “sex assigned at birth” is “female” but my “gender identity” is “non-binary”; that I use “they” pronouns”; that I am taking testosterone for gender dysphoria; and that I recently had masculinizing mastectomy, also for gender dysphoria. In short, my medical chart clearly states that I am a trans person.
I have done a lot of physical therapy for lots of different types of injuries in several different parts of my body, including my spine & back, my neck & upper shoulders, my left ankle, my left hamstring, tennis-elbow, and regaining mobility & strength in my shoulders after having my arm in a sling for over four weeks when I fractured my humerus. Never once have I been told that the “physical therapist doesn’t feel able or comfortable or qualified to treat the injury”. Every single time, a physical therapist (without any particular specialization mentioned) visited me and helped me regain mobility & strength in whatever body part was concerned. So being told that for this particular type of diagnosis or recovery the “physical therapist doesn’t feel able or comfortable or qualified to treat the injury” to me seems like blatant transphobia that is trying to camouflage itself as some sort of medical excuse.
Moreover, after doing the therapy session with the physical therapist who did visit me, I can state that most of the exercises used to regain strength & mobility in the shoulders for my current type of recovery are the same as the ones I had to do when recovering strength & mobility in the shoulders after my humerus fracture: factual proof that no particular specialization is needed to treat physical recovery from masculinizing mastectomy (at least as far as regaining strength & mobility in the shoulders is concerned) and that any qualified physical therapist could do the work with me.
Even a day later, I am still appalled and furious about this.
I am very proud of how I acted during and after the incident yesterday. At first, I calmly listened to the receptionist when she told me about the change in scheduling and did my physical therapy session with the provider who was willing to see me. Afterwards, I went back to the reception to schedule future appointments with this same (lovely) provider. And finally, I calmly asked the receptionist if she could explain again to me the reason for the first provider refusing to see me. She gave me a similar reply to earlier that morning but using the term “diagnosis” instead of “medical chart” and adding that the mistake had probably been made by the person in the general call center when scheduling because of lack of knowledge of the details. I calmly but firmly replied that I had been clear when scheduling my appointment a month ago and that this incident to me felt very much like a case of transphobia. So the receptionist asked me if I wanted to report the incident and I replied “Yes”.
Only a few years ago I would have flown off the handle and/or burst out into tears. Or maybe ignored it and let it go in a feeling of powerlessness. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I took in the upsetting information without letting it overwhelm me; I processed it (also with the help of a lovely friend who was there with me); I got the best out of the physical therapy session that I was able to do; and then, once I was more calm and also had more information from having actually seen & done a physical therapy session for this particular type of recovery, I went back and advocated for myself, calmly and politely but firmly. And I’m not done with it: I am going to report this incident and that particular physical therapist higher up: to my health insurance and to my employer’s HR department.
This incident reeks of transphobia: if it isn’t, they’ve got to prove it.
The Little Prince and the Fox 