[Trigger warnings: explicit language about genitalia, sexual intercourse, and gynecological visit/examination.]
I’m a boy. A boy with female genitals but a boy nonetheless.
Today I had a weird but probably the best ever gynecological medical experience. It was my first gynecological visit in a couple years and the first one since starting my “trans-journey” explicitly.
Fortunately, gynecological visits have never been too triggering or upsetting for me. I’ve always taken them in a very practical, matter-of-fact way, as any other type of medical examination. After having my first sexual intercourse involving penetration at 18, I went to have my first gynecological visit simply because I knew it would be wise for me to do so, to get “things checked”. When it became clear that my first relationship with a boyfriend was “serious” (exclusive, committed, monogamous), I went to my doctor (who also happened to be my gynecologist at the time) and got on “the pill”. I’ve always taken this kind of thing in a very practical way, also partly because I enjoy sex very much but am extremely careful about doing things safely.
Today’s visit was with a new doctor, through my new health insurance, and the first gynecological visit since getting on testosterone, since deciding to get a masculinizing mastectomy, since changing my legal name and pronouns to align with my non-binary/trans-masculine gender identity… And one of the things I intended to discuss with this new doctor today was the option — pros and cons — of doing a gender-affirming hysterectomy.
I didn’t really know what to expect and since I had to go to the “OB/GYN clinic” which includes lots of different “women’s health services” I was expecting to be addressed as “M’am” more than once. But actually, not only was I never addressed as “M’am” there, I also had one of the best, most gender-affirming, satisfactory, and gentle medical experiences in a long while. Everyone interacting with me addressed me by my chosen first name and referred to me either with the “they” pronouns of my choice or neutrally as “the patient”. When the new gynecologist walked into the examination room, she introduced herself and then asked me immediately, “What are your preferred name and pronouns?”. I was so (pleasantly) surprised that before replying I exclaimed, “WOW, thanks for asking!”. The doctor then proceeded to ask me how I’ve been feeling on HRT and whether the bleeding that I’m still getting with my monthly period is gender-dysphoric for me; moreover, before starting the actual physical examination, she asked me if any anatomical terms are triggering for me or whether I’d want her to avoid using any particular term. No doctor, and in particular no gynecologist, has ever asked me such a question — but now I truly believe every doctor, particularly doctors examining genitalia and other possibly gender-dysphoric body parts, should ask every patient. During the physical examination itself, the doctor was gentle and warned me in advance of each step. Then, we talked at length about the practical aspects of a gender-affirming hysterectomy. Finally, as the visit was coming to an end, I sighed and said, “This feels so weird. This has been one of the best visits I’ve ever had with a doctor but it also feels weird to have my female body-parts checked and discussed when I feel like a boy…”. The doctor responded in a kind, understanding way and added, “Next time we see each other, we can have the visit in the endocrinology clinic so you don’t have to come to the women’s clinic, if that feels more comfortable for you” — WOW! Of course, I promptly accepted her offer — and I might actually be seeing her again next summer to set a date for the gender-affirming hysterectomy (if everything goes well before then)…
For the first time in a long while, today I felt truly seen and heard by a medical professional, and receiving all that gender-affirmation both on the emotional and on the practical/medical level felt really good!
The Little Prince and the Fox 