Two more quotes from the book “The body keeps the score” by Bessel a. van der Kolk, M.D.: these two snippets in particular, although from different chapters, for me go together somehow and are particularly important as they relate, among other things, to some recent experiences, conflicts, and needs that I have felt and that receive important validation from these (professional) words.
‘ In order to know who we are — to have an identity — we must know (or at least feel that we know) what is and what was “real”. We must observe what we see around us and label it correctly; we must also be able to trust our memories and be able to tell them apart from our imagination. Losing the ability to make these distinctions is one sign of what psychoanalyst William Niederland called “soul murder”. Erasing awareness and cultivating denial are often essential to survival, but the price is that you lose track of who you are, of what you are feeling, and of what and whom you can trust. ‘
‘ […] neuroscience research shows that very few psychological problems are the result of defects in understanding; most originate in pressures from deeper regions in the brain that drive our perception and attention. When the alarm bell of the emotional brain keeps signaling that you are in danger, no amount of insight will silence it. [… ] When our emotional and rational brains are in conflict (as when we’re enraged with someone we love, frightened by someone we depend on, or lust after someone who is off limits), a tug-of-war ensues. This war is largely played out in the theatre of visceral experience — your gut, your heart, your lungs — and will lead to both physical discomfort and psychological misery. ‘
The Little Prince and the Fox 