In the end, this year I’ll be spending my birthday (my first birthday in Colorado) in quarantine, isolating at home sick with COVID. 

Of course, I feel a lot of disappointment and even anger — the anger was particularly intense on Thursday when I got my first strong symptoms and positive test result. But I don’t want to dwell on those feelings now. Today, I want to revel in the joy and sunshine (real, warm out there in the backyard, as well as figurative) that has accompanied so many birthdays throughout my life, including this one. 

Yes, it is extremely disappointing and frustrating to be spending this weekend at home alone and to get many fun plans canceled. But I can also look at it from the other viewpoint: I actually had plenty of fun plans with lots of people and various groups of friends. I’ve built enough of a life in this corner of the world over the past nine months to actually be able to make lots of fun plans for my birthday, including: drinks out with colleagues to celebrate two or three birthdays all together; climbing with my French climbing buddy here and then dinner & drinks out with half a dozen of other climbing buddies & friends/significant others of theirs (including friends who helped me with my move just over a month ago); plans to go out for dinner this weekend and next week with three different friends, on three different evenings, to celebrate my birthday. It sucks to be missing out on all this now, but the fact that I even had these plans, these persons willing and eager to hang out and celebrate with me, that’s what counts and that’s lovely.

Moreover, it’s not just the fact of having these plans that fills me with joy; it’s also the fact that these plans with people here were easy to make and often came as offers from them. I told my friends here about my birthday and they put it on their calendars and showed up for me. A couple weeks ago, when I went climbing with my French buddy with whom I had climbing plans for the day of my birthday, he asked me if I’d want to go celebrate my birthday with dinner & drinks in the evening as well: he offered me his availability to celebrate my birthday. My other favorite climbing buddy did the same, even offering to invite another friend of his who might introduce me to another fun community (I had mentioned to this climbing buddy that I need a little more fun & socialization in my life now, too). 

And then, there’s all my friends from all over, friends from these past few years in the U.S. as well as friends from years & decades ago, many of them in Europe, all of them remembering my birthday and “showing up” for me from afar. 

I love to get together with friends to celebrate, and my birthday has always been a sort of excuse to do so. And throughout my life, despite all my moving and traveling, all of the changes in country and situation, I’ve had the fortune to be able to celebrate my birthday surrounded by friends and in the company of loved ones. 

A couple years in high-school and college, when I wasn’t in the mood to make plans for my birthday, my best friends from the time organized surprise parties for me, taking me out for dinner and finding ways to celebrate that they knew I’d enjoy. 

At the beginning of grad school I remember having a birthday party at my parents’ house (they were out or away) with all of my closest friends from then, including my sailing buddy/boyfriend as well as friends from high-school, college, and grad school — more than a dozen people around a fun potluck dinner with music playing and jokes flying. 

Even during those difficult years during my postdoc I remember two lovely birthdays — in particular one when all my friends who were living close enough came over for the day or weekend. That was particularly lovely because none of them except one was living in the same town: they all had to drive or ride at least a couple hours, from different cities, to get to the town where I was living at the time. 

And then there are my “California birthdays”. 

The first one I spent with another sailing buddy (“California boy sailing buddy”), sailing and then out for dinner and then out dancing the night away — so much fun!!! 

The following two birthdays were bigger parties, again, in the backyard, taking advantage of the typical Indian summer of that region, with almost a dozen friends sharing potluck, conversation and music — once again, friends from different areas of my life, all mingling for that one day. 

My “COVID birthday” in 2020 I celebrated with a climbing/hiking/exploring trip on my own, and then with tea&cake with one of my closest friends when I got home from my trip. 

And last year’s birthday was a 4-day weekend trip, again climbing, hiking, and exploring, camping in Pinnacles National Park with half a dozen friends — also so much fun and such lovely memories! 

So yes, I had plans for this year’s birthday, too, for this weekend, next week, and through to next weekend, plans that got highjacked by COVID — and that sucks. 

But look at it the other way: I actually had those plans, this year like so many other years in the past. And a celebration doesn’t necessarily have to be canceled: it can simply be postponed! 

And in the meantime, here & now, I can still celebrate in my heart and revel in the affection that I am receiving from all my friends anyway.