First times in Colorado

It’s been one of those BIG days. An intense day and in some ways a day to celebrate. 

Today I cast my first Coloradan vote! Which to me feels like a HUGE step towards making Colorado my new “real home”, at least for the time being. 

Since moving to the U.S. from Europe in 2016, there’s been a succession of important “first times” for me: my first motorcycle; my first car; starting to run long distance and then trail run, hence my first half-marathon (in California); starting to rock climb; coming into myself & out to the world more fully and authentically in the many facets of my identity, including adopting non-binary pronouns and getting my name legally changed. 

I remember how excited I was in 2016 about celebrating my first birthday in the U.S. (or the first one I remembered as an adult, since I celebrated a few here in the U.S. when I was a baby & very young child but cannot remember those, of course). My first birthday in California, my first Thanksgiving and Christmas in California: they were all symbols, milestones that helped me feel more settled and at home in my “new home”, my chosen home. 

I’m going through similar experiences and feelings now: this past weekend I ran my first half-marathon (my “typical” or “standard” distance until now) in a trail race here in Colorado; today I voted for the first time here in Colorado, showing my proof of residence; this upcoming weekend I’ll be doing my first (ever) rope-climbing competition and soon I’ll be celebrating my first birthday in Colorado; in ten days I might even run my first ever 30km trail race! So many “first times”, so many first times that feel important to me, and maybe even more so in this moment that I’m feeling some homesickness towards California and/or struggling with loneliness and melancholy. 

So many new “first times” here that slowly, in tiny steps, build towards my feeling more at home here… slowly but surely…