“Troublemaker doppelgänger”

[Trigger warning (depending on how one interprets the lyrics of the song): body image/shape; unwanted attention; objectification; … ]

The song “Troublemaker doppelgänger” by Lucy Dacus is one of those that really gives me a visceral sense of the expression “to pull at the strings of one heart”. This song pulls at the strings of my heart, touches something deep in my soul, in my gut, even physically. 

I discovered this song two or three years ago as it was on one of the pre-given playlists on Spotify. I liked it immediately from the musical standpoint, for its melody, its rhythm, and the singer’s beautiful voice. But then the lyrics also started to catch my attention and touch something deep inside me, already back then. 

A few evenings ago, this song came back into my mind, for no apparent reason… And yesterday evening, as I put on my Spotify playlist to exercise at the gym, the first song up was “Troublemaker doppelgänger” by Lucy Dacus… 

When I got home last night, I played it on my computer for better audio, and paid more attention to the lyrics, which I share below.

For me now, these lyrics, these words, these images, are beautiful yet piercingly and almost unbearably close and meaningful — for my own self as well as one or two persons I know and care about deeply… 

“Is that a hearse or a limousine?

It’s like I’ve seen it on the TV screen, oh-oh

She had the body of a beauty queen

Put on a pedestal for good hygiene, oh-oh

I saw a girl that looked like you

And I wanted to tell everyone to run away from her

Run away, run away!

It couldn’t have been you but she had your eyes

Made for faking smiles and turning tides

Hands full of young men wrapped around her finger

They made you a throne out of magazines

They made you a crown out of peonies, oh-oh

She grew up as the pretty young thing

Let them look up her skirt on the backyard swing

Oh no…

Daddy told you to stay indoors

And I can understand how a girl gets bored

Too old to play and too young to mess around

She was a victim of the same disease

That’s roaming the streets and bites when it please

And makes us wanna live forever or die in infamy

I wanna live in a world where I can keep my eye doors wide open

But who knows what’d get in and what’d get out

One of these nights, I’ll sleep with the windows down

But not until that creature’s in the pound

No child is born knowing there’s an ugly or evil thing

When did my folks stop covering my eyes?

Was it my brother who taught me about jealousy?

Was it my sister who taught me about vanity?

Was it that girl, that beautiful girl

Thirsty for love and eager for attention

Was it that girl who taught me about destruction?

I wanna live in a world where I can keep my eye doors wide open

But who knows what’d get in and what’d get out?”