Watering the garden

This evening I watered the garden of my owners’ house again: this is the big responsibility I have here while they’re away this summer. 

I’ve never been very good at taking care of plants but I’m really loving tending to their garden. I love the smells that come up and out of the soil, out of the leaves and flowers the moment the water hits them. I love the immediate gratification one gets from this activity. I love the connection I feel to nature and everything around me —  including the bunnies running around all over the place. 

In general, one of the things I’m enjoying the most staying in this place temporarily for the summer is the close contact with nature, being surrounded by it so easily. Even if it entails contending with rodents nesting outside, wasps stinging me while I’m watering the garden, and constantly having to watch out for mountain lions and bears on my trail runs, I love this closeness to nature, this feeling of being part of it — albeit a very vulnerable part — immersed in it. It makes life feel so much more real somehow. I just love sitting outside at night to read my book with a headlamp, listening to the loud crickets (who are now in mating season and jumping around all over the place during the daytime!), looking up at the sky and seeing a shooting star now and then. 

Today, I also watered my own garden, the garden of my soul. 

It wasn’t a super productive day of work in terms of my scientific job. But I did lots of small things that are extremely important to me. 

I tended to friendships. I reached out to counselors to inquire about starting psychotherapy to help me get unstuck from my inability around romantic/intimate relationships. I had a visit with my primary care provider to finalize the steps to wean me off the meds for anxiety/depression which I no longer need. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist to be properly evaluated for ADHD & autism at the end of the month. I followed up with my endocrinologist re. HRT & thyroiditis. I took my motorcycle to get serviced so now I can ride it safely. I ordered an extra safety device to add to my rock-climbing gear to give me & my partners/buddies more peace of mind on our outings. I started taking concrete steps towards my next non-scientific project. I ate plenty of food despite not exercising, as one should on the “rest day” to build strength, without feeling too guilty about it. 

I took care of myself and of important things & persons around me, close to me. 

And it feels good: watering the garden really feels good!