People withdrawal

I was just texting one of my best friends here in Colorado about how lonely I’m feeling this weekend and they asked if it’s “people withdrawal”. 

Yes, I guess it is, at least partly — and such a great way of expressing it! 

Moving isn’t easy. It’s actually freaking hard. And what is hitting me now is the weight of the losses, of what has ended — those six years in California, with all their ups and downs, but also the bulk of my textbook project. 

For the past months, and especially over the past three weeks, I have been hyperstimulated, mostly in positive, fulfilling ways, by people and activities and things that needed to be done urgently. 

All of that is suddenly gone — or, at least, that’s how it feels to me today. I know it’s not really gone — I still have good friends both here and elsewhere, I still have important things to get done. But this weekend is a lonely, quiet one: one where I’m wishing I could have the company of close friends, even just to go and watch the meteor shower together tonight, instead of being on my own, contemplating all that I’ve left behind.