As Arys’s thyroid function renormalizes, their body is getting leaner again, the small breasts are shrinking; and as they exercise and strengthen intensely, the muscles show, the shoulders broaden, the arms grow.
To top off and celebrate this renewed masculinization of their body today Arys got a boy’s tank-top at their climbing gym and then wore it with no bra for the yoga class. Feeling an intense gender euphoria very similar to a runner’s high.
Then, the image in the mirror. They saw him. A boy, the boy.
Then, they saw the Boulderer. That’s when they saw it as clear as day: the reason they had fallen so intensely in love with that guy, the reason why that guy had gotten so much under their skin: because they felt him in their skin. It wasn’t just the mountain of mutual interests and experiences and feelings that Arys and the Boulderer shared; it wasn’t just that they could relate to each other on so many different levels. On top of all that, Arys saw their boy self in that guy, even physically – those shoulders, those arms, they felt like their own, like the ones they wished they’d have and identified with.
It was exactly like the feelings expressed in the book (& movie) “Call me by your name”: it’s falling in love with someone because you like and love that person but also because you see yourself – or your potential self – in that other person.
It can be intoxicating. But also extremely liberating – and gender euphoric – when recognized.
The Little Prince and the Fox 