Reconnecting the brain?

It seems that one of the causes, or aspects, of depression is excessive self-reflection that gets not only the mind but also the physical brain stuck in certain patterns or groves or neurological paths which can lead, among other things, to a sense of separateness or detachment from “other” (our “true self”, loved ones, nature, the world, our job, a meaning in life, etc.). So a way to ease or reverse depression is to get the mind and brain “unstuck”, out of these limited groves, even at a physical level (chemically and/or neurologically). 

I’ve been taking an antidepressant for four weeks now, for the first time ever in my life and on a very small dose. It’s hard to say if that alone has helped improve my general mood or if the recent events in my life, opening up new opportunities and adventures for me, have played a major role. 

Anyway, I have noticed a difference in my dreams lately (and I’ve also been sleeping better). 

I’ve always been able to remember my dreams, and I often enjoy doing so or rely on my dreams to help me better understand situations and/or feelings. But in the past few days I had two dreams which really stuck out as being very different from anything I’ve ever dreamt before. They were both very brief, more like feelings, but very vivid and intense in a beautiful yet powerful way. 

In one, I felt — no, “I” wasn’t actually there, it was as if my “ego” has dissolved but there was something/someone that could still feel. And the feeling was of interconnectedness with the whole planet and an intense awareness of its vulnerability and the danger it’s in as an interconnected ecosystem. The feeling was at once of wanting to help or save the planet while also being part of it and therefore vulnerable and in need of being saved — everything together. 

In the other dream also “I” wasn’t really present but “I” just saw DNA: “I saw” the bases combine, the A’s with the T’s and the C’s with the G’s, and “I” could hear in my mind the words “adenine”, “thymine”, “cytosine”, “guanine”, although it was more like a deep knowledge or awareness than actually “hearing” (note that I am a physicist so these would be only distant memories from high school science!). It just felt so beautiful — somehow “right”, as if it “fit” or was explaining something profound and full of truth, but also delicate, maybe vulnerable. 

I wonder if these dreams with these feelings of interconnectedness and profound truths are due to the antidepressant, if they’re a positive symptom of the antidepressant working and actually helping my brain out of its “stuck patterns”, rewiring it in a healthier way. 

Whether it is or not, I find them fascinating anyway and worth remembering (and sharing).